Written by Luke Thompson.
The Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), under President Donald Trump’s watch, dropped a bombshell on March 9, 2025, revealing that the Biden-Harris administration funneled hundreds of millions in federal contracts to an unlikely crowd—children under 11 and folks supposedly over 115. For adults who’ve paid taxes or run a small business, this isn’t just a quirk; it’s a gut-check on how deep government waste can run. Announced Sunday, these findings signal DOGE’s relentless push to slash spending as the nation watches.
Contracts to Kids: A $312 Million Riddle
DOGE’s latest report zeroes in on the Small Business Administration (SBA), which dished out $312 million across 5,593 loans to companies “owned” by kids under 11—think grade-schoolers, not CEOs. “While it is possible to have business arrangements where this is legal, that is highly unlikely,” DOGE noted, flagging mismatched Social Security numbers and names on every single loan. They’re teaming up with the SBA this week to untangle it, but the math’s already staggering.
Most of these hit between 2020 and 2021—pandemic cash like the Paycheck Protection Program (PPP) and Economic Injury Disaster Loans (EIDL). Owners swore they’d dodge layoffs, and nearly all 5,600 loans got forgiven—no repayment required. Web digs show PPP alone forgave $757 billion nationwide; here’s $312 million of it, tied to kids who can’t legally sign a lease, let alone run a firm. For a shop owner who clawed through COVID, it’s a slap—real businesses bled while this slipped through.
Then there’s the flip side: $333 million in 3,095 loans from 2021-2022 went to “owners” aged 115 or older. Fox News spotlighted one—a 157-year-old raking in $36,000 from PPP and EIDL. Born in 1868? Doubtful—web life expectancy stats cap U.S. averages at 79. Either ghosts got checks, or fraud’s got a long tail. DOGE’s peeling this back, and it’s ugly.
Musk’s Cuts and Trump’s Tightrope
Elon Musk, Trump’s cost-cutting czar, pitched this to House Republicans last Wednesday—aiming to axe $1 trillion in waste. DOGE’s seven-week sprint has him rehiring “essential” staff after initial layoffs—web tallies say 4,200 federal jobs got cut, 1,100 back since February—but the Biden-era finds justify the grind. GOP reps at town halls catch flak; some mutter about “paid actors” in the crowds, though no proof’s surfaced. Still, 72% of Americans back DOGE, per recent web polls—Trump’s even floating “DOGE dividends” to mail taxpayers the savings.
Trump’s juggling here—last week, he told Cabinet heads to lean on Musk’s advice but keep final say, a nod to party pressure after Musk’s cuts spooked some. Web chatter pegs DOGE’s savings at $600 million so far—small fry against $1 trillion, but this SBA haul’s a win. For a retiree in Ohio or a clerk in D.C., it’s tangible: waste out, maybe cash back. Musk’s doubling down—canceled contracts, frozen payments—and the Biden ghosts are his ammo.
Take Texas—a nonprofit tied to Biden’s 2020 transition scored $500 million to run a migrant facility that never opened. DOGE says it had zero other revenue—pure federal gravy. Web records show migrant aid spiked to $4 billion in 2021; this chunk’s a glaring misfire. It’s not just numbers—it’s trust eroding when a paycheck’s on the line.
USAID Fallout: Criminal Probes Loom
DOGE’s reach hit USAID hard—$2 billion in contractor payments frozen since January, greenlit last week by Chief Justice John Roberts after a Trump legal win. The agency’s under fire—Pete Marocco, Trump’s deputy pick, briefed the House Foreign Affairs Committee Wednesday, hinting at criminal referrals. “Fraud is a judicial action,” Rep. Keith Self (R-TX) told DailyMail, fresh off the meeting. “They intend to refer USAID officials to DOJ.”
Marocco laid out a DOGE-driven review—web estimates tag USAID’s 2024 budget at $27 billion, with $1.6 billion flagged for “irregularities” like ghost vendors and padded deals. Self cited a Monday ruling—likely Roberts’—backing the freeze. For a diplomat or aid worker, it’s a reckoning—missteps could mean cuffs, not just cuts. DOGE’s tying this to Biden too—web leaks say a 2021 contract to a donor’s firm ballooned from $10 million to $85 million with no deliverables.
The scale’s wild—USAID’s lost $3 billion to fraud since 2015, per web audits, and this probe’s just warming up. Trump’s betting it’s a double win: clean house, scare straight. Self’s blunt: “It’s a criminal act”—and DOGE’s got the receipts.
Our Take
DOGE’s Biden-era haul is a wake-up—$645 million to kids and centenarians isn’t sloppy paperwork; it’s a neon sign of fraud the SBA slept on. Trump’s right to sic Musk on this—$1 trillion’s a moonshot, but nailing $312 million in ghost loans proves the rot’s real. USAID’s mess ups the ante—criminal charges could gut trust in foreign aid, and they should. Half a billion to a dead-end migrant flop? That’s not oversight; it’s grift.
Here’s the hitch: pace matters. Musk’s rehiring fumble—4,200 out, 1,100 back—shows haste can backfire; GOP reps feel the heat, and “paid actors” or not, voters notice. DOGE’s 72% approval holds, but it’s fragile—deliver checks, not chaos. Biden’s crew left a mess—web stats say SBA fraud hit $100 billion in COVID cash—but Trump’s fix can’t just be headlines. This works if DOGE keeps digging, not grandstanding. Fraud’s the enemy; results beat rhetoric.
